The 100 Club

For 6 months I've been trying to lose weight (longest time I've ever stuck with it).  I'm now a week shy of 5 months postop.  And, I've finally made it to the 100s with my weight!  This was the first major goal I had for myself, and I know I haven't been under 200 pounds in about 10 years!  A huge victory for me!  This really feels like a big deal now.

My weight loss has slowed down as of late, so it's been mentally kind of frustrating.  I've been so grateful for my awesome family and friends, and for Trainer Tim, who have kept me going.  I'm hoping that, now that I'm finally under 200lbs, I can stop stressing so much about the number on the scale.  There are so many other ways to measure success!  Even though this journey will never truly be "over" for me, I like to believe that I'm already successful.

Thanks for your ongoing support!

Halfway there!

I am 2 days from being 4 months postop, and I'm halfway to my weight loss goal as of this morning!  So excited about that!

On the downside, I'm publicly admitting that I've not been good with my exercise lately.  I'm not sure why, and I don't have a really good excuse.  I guess it's my m.o. to slack off after doing well for a certain amount of time.  In fact, I think 4 months is the longest I've ever stuck with a healthier lifestyle.  Coincidence that I've been trying to lose weight now for about 5 months?  Typical, I say.  So, I'm making a renewed effort.  Hopefully I'll start getting some more energy again because I've been kind of low on that lately too.  Also making a renewed effort to make sure I get all my vitamins in.

That's all for now.  As a fellow blogger says, here's what to do:  eat healthy, move more, and work on the head stuff.  Rinse and repeat.  (Or something like that.)  There is no finish line.

I'm the smallest I've ever been...

... since I've started seriously trying to lose weight, that is.

I finally reached the weight I lost down to the last and only time I had such a big weight loss!  Reached that weight and passed it.  So now, every day, I can say I'm the smallest I've been.  Love it!  I am so close to the 100s I can taste it!

I've been in a big of a mental funk the past couple of weeks.  I think it's because I'm so close to the 100s.  That is such a big barrier to me, and I so want to bust through it.  But being who I am, I doubt myself.  So I'm working on that.

I'm also still struggling with my exercise.  For some reason, my energy level has been quite low for the past month.  I need to get my butt back to the doctor to get my blood work checked again.  It started a few weeks ago when I had such an awful cold, and I think I just never bounced all the way back from that.  My work schedule has been kind of hectic too, which hasn't helped.  I'm exhausted.  So, looking for a way up and out.

Eating has been fine.  I still have my ups and downs from day to day, as far as how much I can eat.  Some days, I can eat a lot, which scares me.  Other days, I can't eat much at all.  I'm making good food choices, so I still feel good about that.  I did go out drinking one night, and I was able to have more than I thought I would be able to!  So, I'll have to be careful there.  I have read in a couple of different places that there is a higher incidence of alcoholism in post-op gastric bypass patients starting about a year after surgery.  So that's  always in the back of my mind.

That's it for now.  Thanks for checking in!

Gaining

I had to wait a little while before I posted this.  I was so mad and upset, I just didn't think it would be a good post.
I gained weight for the first time since 2/1/12.  It was only 1.5lbs, but the mental toll that it took on me has been amazing.  Not in a good way.  I immediately felt worthless and terrible when I saw that number on the scale.  Right now, I'm just hoping it's water weight that will fix itself this week.  I've still been eating healthily, exercising regularly too.  Although I haven't exercised as much between being sick recently and working a lot.  In any case, I have stewed about this situation for almost 2 days, so it's time to stop!  I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing.  I WILL get to that one-derful weight at some point, so I'm going to try to stop sweating exactly how fast I get there.  I know all this mental stuff is happening because I'm very very close to the lowest I've weighed of all the times I've tried to lose weight.  When I get past that point, I think I'll feel really productive.  Anyhow, chin up...

Victories

I'm trying not to measure my success strictly based on "scale victories," but last week, I lost 5.5 lbs!  That hasn't happened in quite some time.  Today, I am 13 weeks postop, tomorrow makes 3 months.  70 lbs down! It's feels like a short time and a long time at the same time.  If that makes any sense at all.

As for "non-scale victories," there have been a couple.  I'm still getting lots of compliments on my appearance lately.  Actually, it's making me feel really embarrassed and awkward!  Guess I'll have to get used to it.  Also, it seems that a couple of people may be wanting to go back to the gym, saying that I've motivated them!  Crazy!  I've never been on the motivating end of things.  Pretty cool.  Now, if i can just get them to go with me...

I've caught a cold or something.  Blah.  I'm sure it's the silly sick kiddos from work.  The only cool thing is that it really shows me how far I've come in the past 3 months.  I've been going crazy the past 3 days, not feeling up to my usual level of activity.  No fun.  Even had to cancel with Trainer Tim today.  I'm hoping that another day will have me on my way back to normal.  I'm actually kind of annoyed that I'm sick at all, considering that I've been taking such good care of myself.  I've been making good food choices, eating often to keep my metabolism up, taking my vitamins, getting lots of exercise, and getting enough sleep.  I would have thought my immune system was good to go.  I guess my immune system gets quite the workout, with working around so many sick kids all the time.

Speaking of work, that's been emotionally tough lately.  Seems like so many sad stories coming through.  I keep giving and giving of myself, but it's becoming quite taxing on my heart.  I'm trying not to get dragged down by it.  I have faith that things happen for a reason and that God is using me in the way he wants me to be used, but I so wish that I could fix all the sick and injured children!  It's just not fair!  These are the times when I have to think of those special miracle kids that I've taken care of...

Measurements 6/1

Trainer Tim did my measurements again today.  It's been about 2.5 weeks again...
Arms -1"
Chest - 0.25"
Waist - 1"
Hips - 2.25"
-7 pounds
- 0.9%  body fat

I was pretty happy with that!  :)
Check out my progress in pics.  I can finally see a decent difference in how I look!

Compliments :)

Yesterday was a day full of compliments.  I worked the night before, and one of my coworkers that came in for day shift just kept looking at me.  I was finally like, "What???"  She said she just couldn't get over how thin my face looked.  I was floored.  This is someone I see every week or every other week, so I was surprised that she noticed such a change.  Several other people (not present for that conversation) said the same thing, that they could really tell a difference in my face and neck.  Even Trainer Tim said I was looking good and that he could really tell that my face is slimmer!  62 pounds down, apparently that's when people start noticing.  All the kind words really made me feel good about myself!

Last night, I went through one of my storage totes with old clothes in it, and I ended up with probably 15 shirts (mostly tees) that now fit that didn't a month ago.  Such a cool feeling!  I need to look through my stuff more often, though, because there were several pairs of pants and shorts that are too big already, and I never got a chance to wear them.  Oops!

Tomorrow is measurements day with Trainer Tim.  Hopefully the numbers will reflect what everybody sees!

Courtesy of Pinterest, I made these Motivational Marbles jars (see pic).  Every pound I lose, I move a marble from the "Pounds to go" jar to the "Pounds gone" jar; I have clear and white marbles for each pound, and heart shaped ones for each 5 pounds.  Very gratifying!  I just need a "prize" to put in the bottom of the "Pounds to go" jar for when I reach my goal weight!  Trainer Tim loves this idea, and he actually wants to use it.  :)