Wow, I've been horrible about posting! I'll try to do better.
First off, I'm about 10 weeks postop now, and 58 pounds down (that's in about 16 weeks, not 10 weeks, just to clarify) at my last weekly weigh-in.
Today, I finally bought one new set of scrubs. They are a different brand, which I believe runs a bit smaller than my other ones, and they are fully 2 sizes smaller than my old ones. Yay! I also bought a dress at Old Navy. Yikes! And despite these new, smaller clothes, I'm still playing that game in my head. When I look in the mirror, all I see is the fat girl. I mean I know I'm still really fat, but I still see the 285-lb girl. I wish I knew what to do to make myself appreciate all the hard work I've done. I mean I'm kicking ass at the gym, and doing a really great job with eating the right things. But I just feel like I'm not losing fast enough. Yes, I'm fully aware of how ridiculous that sounds. Someone tell me what to do to fix my head, and I'll do it!
Oh, and I believe my hair is starting to fall out a bit. :(
Trying to stay positive...
You look fantastic, Leslie! I'm so inspired by these blog posts -- I check back all the time. And I understand that it takes a while for your head to catch up with the reality of your physical body. Even at 7mos pregnant, I still feel like "infertile girl." I don't know how many babies it will take for me to get over that feeling. These negative, inner narratives we create for ourselves can be so hard to shake. But you should know that others don't see you the same way you see yourself! I think you look great!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the kind words! 7 months pregnant, that's awesome! I can't wait to get to that point. Yes, I'm being a good girl and waiting to try to get pregnant. I'm 31, and my husband and I have been waiting forever to try, between my being in school and my being enormous, the timing was never good. How are you feeling?
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